Love-Hate Relationship

I’m taking a day off from my computer—a sabbatical, you might say. The two of us haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye lately. I think it’s better that I give it a rest than chuck it out the window, which is the only other alternative I can think of.

They say miracles can happen by simply taking a one-day fast, no food or drink, just a little lemon water to feed the soul. Today is my fast. I’ll eat myself silly, but I refuse to open that laptop. My addiction to it has reached a new level. It’s time to stop.

I walk by it, there on the couch and eye it longingly. “But my email!” my inner demon shouts out to me. “I must check my email!”

I walk by, head held high, strong in my conviction.

It’s not that the computer is evil unto itself, although the though did cross my mind yesterday as it garbled 20 emails and refused to send many more. It’s not that I’m not thankful for what this machine does for me, because I am.

Today’s fast is more about what I’m not doing when I’m on it, like cleaning my house, meditating in the sun, playing with my child or well, uh writing! On the computer I perfect, move around, edit, and work on stuff rather than peeking inside me rather than at it to see what’s happening.

So today, that computer will sit. And I will walk by with a sense of pride that I did it with my pen and paper in my hand, as I chose more peaceful ways to create.

Good-bye for today, dear friend. Perhaps tomorrow you can help me publish all this stuff! The time apart will do us good. Let us duke it out then!