What's Up With Blogging?

"What is all this blogging about?" a relative asked me over Christmas festivities. I paused. The question came as if there was a plan, as if I knew. I wasn't quite sure how to answer because, you see, there isn't. A plan, that is. This blogging is about...well, er (uncomfortable silence)...well, it's just fun. It, uh...(more silence coupled with significant squirming)...well, it just feels right.

I usually like to move through life not by following what others think is right for me, but rather, well, intuitively. I like to figure things out on my own and do things MY way--what feels right in the moment and works best for me rather than what the "experts" recommend. On my more self-judgmental days, this approach to life (motherhood, getting published, etc., etc.) feels rebellious, selfish and fills me with doubt. Other days, I have a gentle acceptance of the whole issue. It's just who I am. It's what works for me. Intuitive feels right. But, I have to admit it's not always easy to not be following a formula, especially when someone asks me what I'm doing.

So here we are. Blogging. It's what my intution said would be good for me, like so many other things that make absolutely no sense and are a far cry from what all the publishing books say I should be doing right now with my time instead...marketing, marketing, marketing, finding an agent, creating a platform, writing proposals not books and I say, "Bah! Humbug." Obviously, they don't know that the life of a mother then writer doesn't leave much for all that and where's the love? Where's the joy? For me, it's here. Blogging. Doesn't mean I won't do all that other stuff someday, but for me, although this blog isn't part of any sure plan, it feels like there is a plan hidden within each post I make--a sneaky plan, an intuitive one, one that just feels right. I just don't know quite why yet, or where it's heading me.

I have learned more from teachers who have been honest about their own "stuff" than I have from polished speakers who seem to have it all together. Somehow, when each of us are honest about our own humanity, everyone can take a deep sigh. It's like, "whew! thank goodness I'm not the only one!" So, here within this blog I can honestly say there is no plan, really, and I kind of like that. I'm having fun.

Blogging is one small act in my life that continually challenges me to be not perfect, but rather real, to not to have it all together but simply to flow. Creatively. Imperfectly. Many blog entries become mantras in my mind and never make it to the page. But when I have a moment--a split second (or more ideally about 20 minutes!) between diaper changes, folding laundry, digging in the dirt with the little one, and doing everything else that makes my oh, so imperfect life tick, I write my blogs. Perfect, they are not. Books, they are not. But they are mine and they breathe life into my dream of being a published author on days when that seems more like a dream than a goal I can grasp.

The only way to go, I think, is to simply keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep doing what we absolutely LOVE (which in my case is writing and creating and blogging) and watch the magic happen! Although I'm not exactly sure HOW, I just know blogging is part of that equation. I love it. It moves things through me, it magnetizes things to me. So, I'm trusting. I'm blogging. I'm watching what happens next.

Circles of Completion

I used to have trouble with completion. It wasn't, particularly, lack of completing things that was the issue, or even gumption or the willingness to work hard. Instead, the pickle seems to have more to do with how much I love to START STUFF! New projects, creative endeavors, big ideas—-I love `em and often dive in with enough enthusiasm for a whole troupe of worker-bees.

When an alluring project catches my fancy, I’m often eager to dance, which means sometimes (just sometimes!) all my OTHER exciting, new projects get temporarily laid aside while I do--until I can get back to them, of course.

That’s why I’ve started something new around our home called “completing the circles.” It started with my husband and I wanting to be good role models for our 17-month-old son. Pick up your toys, clear your plate…good life skills, if you ask me, and good to start young.

As we all know, of course, children learn what they see and not what they’re told. And so, before asking Devin to master this important life skill, we had to do some honest soul searching and self-evaluation.

Life with children is full of project after project, be they our own (laundry, cleaning dishes, wiping his mouth) or his (playing with that truck, this book now, Mommy!). Our home frequently looked like a tornado had hit it—that tornado being us (and that’s US collectively). You could almost map out where our path had gone, from one exciting event in our home to the next.

Now I’m beginning to simply try to complete each task at the time we’re doing it--setting the table, putting out the food, eating the food, clearing the table, putting the food away, doing the dishes--one big, delightful completed circle with nothing to clean up later, no mess to cause our energy to drop just when we’re diving into something new! We’re actually having fun with this whole completed-circle thing. Jim and Devin are getting into as much as me.

In honor of this month’s theme on my website (www.dreamcatching.net) –COURAGE—I’m realizing that sometimes it takes courage to complete things. What will we do with our time when the house is neat, all circles completed? What will happen when we publish that book, finish that project? What will happen THEN?

Other times, courage is not needed so much for seeing something to the end, but having the bravery to “not do” some of the exciting opportunities that come our way, even if they seem “so important.” Sometimes NOT embarking on some of the new circles of activity that distract us—especially if doing so will disappoint others or endanger our sense of busy, self-importance—can require just as much courage as following through.

As we celebrate a year of new beginnings, it can also be helpful to remember that 2006 can also be a year of completions—truly clearing our plate and slate by finishing all those things we’ve been saying we will. Won’t it feel good when we have?

TODAY is a great day to BEGIN closing all those promises you have made to yourself. Have fun beginning—and completing! And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!